Why Not! Find Your Rainbow

- by Julie Wininger

“Into each life a little rain must fall.” 

No matter how well we plan, there are times unexpected problems develop.  Sometimes these problems are just minor annoyances; sometimes they are life changing catastrophes. 

The secret to coping with the storms of life is not

concentrating on ‘what’ happens to us, but rather how we react

to what happens to us. The meaning we attach to an event 

makes a significant difference in how it affects us.

A downpour can be something that ruins your day, or

something you accept with the knowledge that the land is receiving the water it needs. Besides, your dusty car just got a free wash! 

Spilt milk can be a sign that everything is going against you or can just be ‘one of those things’ that happen.  And hey, your cat will be ecstatic!

Sometimes lousy situations can give us a greater appreciation for life when things are going our way.   There are places in the country where the weather is near perfect year round.  Yet often, people take this for granted.  Yet, if contrasted with a visit to a city with a blizzard, suddenly the mild weather is once again seen as a blessing.

Or after you’ve had a bad cold, the simple act of taking a deep breath can be a pleasure. 

Now this analogy of having something ‘bad’ as a contrast to make the ‘good’ seem better can be taken to the extreme.  Kind of like the old joke about the man who kept banging his head against the wall.  When asked why he did this, his response was, ‘Because it feels so good when I stop.’

I’m sure you know of someone who creates the drama in their life.  Black clouds follow them everywhere.  They thrive on catastrophe.

Yet, you don’t need to let them suck you into their dark

disposition.  You have the choice of your own reaction. 

Appreciate the pleasures in life and look for the silver lining

when darkness dampens your door.  You can create your own

rainbow in response to the storms of life.

Why Not! Appreciate the Present

At the beginning of each new year, people traditionally set resolutions or goals for themselves.  While goal setting is a great skill, the danger lies in believing that you won’t be happy until you reach those goals.

How many of us have had these thoughts, “I’ll be happy when I lose 10 pounds. .  . when I have a great relationship. . . when I get a better job.” 

How many things have you put off until you've reached your goal?  "I'll go to the beach when I lose weight."  Or, “I'll ask that person for a date when I get a better car."  Or, “I'll take the time to play with my children after I get that promotion."

You want to be ‘there’ in the future where you believe you will find the end of your troubles.  Maybe your 'there' is having a perfect body, earning a six-figure income, or driving a nicer car.  You're convinced that once you're 'there' you will have peace and happiness. Yet once you are 'there' there is always another 'there' to get to.  Once you get 'there,' you set your sights on the next level.  If you sacrifice enjoying 'here' for the

sake of 'there' you will deny yourself the pleasures of life along the way.

There is nothing wrong with goal setting toward improving your life.  Having goals for self-improvement is important, yet so is acceptance, love and gratitude for the here and now.  Sound like a paradox?  How can you be happy with where you are right now and yet want to change? 

The solution is to be grateful for where you are currently and be happy on the journey to where you want to be. 

An old proverb sums up this idea:

Two cats believed happiness was contained in their tails.  The first cat chased after his tail in circles.  Faster and faster he went until he became dizzy.  Finally he collapsed.  Then he noticed the second cat purring contentedly.  When he asked the second cat what his secret to happiness was, the cat replied, "Instead of chasing after happiness, I just

move forward and happiness follows me wherever I go."

Your dreams and goals are what enable you and society to evolve and keep moving forward with passion.  The Past is gone, that illusive 'there' of the Future hasn’t happened.  All you really have is the 'here,' the Present.  And that is what it is.  A Present.  A Gift. 

Something to be enjoyed.  So ‘Why Not’ remember the ‘tale’ of the cat.  Why Not be happy in the present while working toward an even better future. 

Why Not! Imagine

This month of Holidays has different meanings to different people. Some people celebrate Christmas, some Chanukah, others Ramadan, and even Kwanzaa.  These events all have a common basis: the celebration of spirituality.  During this time of turmoil in our planet, we are very far indeed from the ideal of Peace on Earth. 

Many in the US are still too close to the anger stage to even consider the prospect of eventual Peace.  I believe the US is acting in an ethical manner by gaining international cooperation to neutralizing those who would commit acts of terrorism while trying to provide humanitarian assistance to those in Afghanistan who have nothing to do with the violence.  

Yet as we defend ourselves against terrorism, we must also look beyond our current condition to a time when humanity has evolved past the point of killing based on conflicting beliefs. 

Nothing occurs without first having a vision of the possibilities. Imagine.  What kind of heaven on earth could we create if we could prevent violence?  

I don’t have the answers to how to do this, yet I pose the question to ponder.  I do know that to get to this vision, individuals must first desire this outcome and believe it can happen.

Tolerance and respect for others form the foundation of living in harmony in this world.  The conundrum is how to get there when there are individuals in the world bent of killing in the name of their cause, their religion.  We need to be able to defend ourselves yet do so in a way that doesn’t perpetuate the problem. 

Yet let us also imagine a world beyond our current strife.  As the beloved John Lennon stated:

Why Not! Take Back Some Control in Your Life

As the world moves forward into unsettling times, we are all faced with emotionally challenging circumstances.  Fear. Concern. Anxiety. These are but a few of the myriad of emotions struggling to take attention away from our daily routines. 

Different people have different reactions to the world events.  Some stay glued to the TV watching for the latest update, others don't want to hear about the happenings at all and tune out in an attempt to go back to the way things once were.  Some cheer over striking back, and some cry over the tragedy or war.  Many of us feel a loss of control over the events in our lives.

For the average citizen, the events happening around the world are out of our control.  And this lack of control creates anxiety and fear.

Fear can be paralyzing. 

Why Not! Take back some control in your life! Do something positive: Give blood, donate money to the Red Cross, teach children not to hate.  And, most important, don't give in to fear.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but accepting it and acting anyway.

How do we combat fear? 

First of all recognize and acknowledge the emotion.  Identify your unique reactions. Be aware if you are becoming upset over small things that before would not have bothered you.  If not addressed, intense emotions can surface in other forms and be diverted toward other people. (Are you yelling at the driver who cut you off?  Avoiding social occasions?  Crying over unrelated small events?)

Here’s some tips to help regain some control:

q      Keep a journal of your feelings.  It's normal to have mixed feelings about situations that have such global implications.  Writing them down can be very therapeutic.   

q      Be thankful for the things that are good in your life.  Don't take things for granted.  Life is full of uncertainties.  Recent events have made that all too clear and have brought it to top of mind for many of us.  But risk is inherent in life.  Walking across the street or driving on the freeway can involve life-threatening situations.   

q      Talk with friends.  Talking about your concerns with a good listener can make those problems feel less frightening.  

q      Hug your kids.  Tell your spouse / friend / relative how you feel about them.   

q      Turn off the TV news reports and do something enjoyable: Take a walk, relax in a warm bubble bath, or pursue a hobby -- or maybe start a new one with a friend.  

q      Be good to yourself.  Many people's eating habits change under stress.  Take the time to eat healthy foods, get enough rest and exercise.

If your feelings still overwhelm you, seek professional help.  Seeking assistance is proof of a healthy person's strength of character.  Here's a good resource: http://helping.apa.org/index.html  

Why not take a deep calming breath and take some positive steps to put some control back into your life.  

Sometimes, you never know what you've got until you take a closer look.  Click on the above picture to see it full size.  I took this picture during a fireworks display and left the shutter open too long while holding the camera, instead of using a tripod.  But this just shows that sometimes 'mistakes' can produce beautiful results.

Post-It Notes (R) were the result of a mistake.  The chemist was trying to make a super strong adhesive.  But his mistake turned into a multi-million dollar product.

What 'great' mistakes have you made?

No two people are alike. No two sunsets are alike. This is a good thing. Those that hate another group or another culture simply because they are different are missing a great opportunity to explore and learn from diversity. If we were all alike, we would be like ants - indistinguishable from each other. Nothing special. Nothing to spark new ideas and new advances. We are lucky we are not like ants. Each of us is unique. And that is a rare gift to be treasured.

This picture was taken at Xceret, Mexico